I know, I know, I know that I haven't been paying much attention to my Blogger, but I promise that things will get better soon. My brother and dad are on a trip to New York, leaving me with my brother's laptop. I can finally confirm that I am definitely a laptop person. I cannot wait until I get my Mac. Blogging will come easier, I am sure of it.
Someone that pesters my mind,
Jamie. He pesters my mind good and bad. I have wronged him (trying not to sing J.Tillman in my head) and I've apologized many, many times for what I have done. I did something bad. It's something that makes me look weak and immature and foolish. But in the process of becomming this ugly, bad person, I fell in love with him. I don't believe in love, but I feel something for Jamie. He pesters my mind because I know that I shouldn't take his hatred and I should just tell him to fuck off, but I want him around. I will always apologize for what I have done. My mom tells me that he will always be mad at me. I hope not. And though he has said some of the meanest things in the world to me...some part of me wants to believe that the end of all the hatred and mean words will come with an "I love you too." I hate watching romantic movies, or really any movie in general, because there is always two people conflicted towards one another and then they end up happy in love. I want to end up happy in love. I know now that you cannot force someone to be in love with you, but some part of me truly wants to believe that Jamie...has some admiration towards me. That even though I made him look completely stupid, we're closer than he's ever been with anyone. Anyway...he does pester my mind. This morning I got a "Good Morning" text message from him. I thought it was, hopefully, a sign that maybe things would change. I was wrong. Things won't change now, but hopefully sometime soon.
Someone who broke my heart the hardest,
I am constantly heartbroken. Nothing ever seems to go as planned for me. I am at a constant battle with myself. So, I blame myself for who has broke my heart the hardest. I do something stupid, I fuck up big time, I apologize endlessly..and in the end I still lose.
Someone that pesters my mind,
Jamie. He pesters my mind good and bad. I have wronged him (trying not to sing J.Tillman in my head) and I've apologized many, many times for what I have done. I did something bad. It's something that makes me look weak and immature and foolish. But in the process of becomming this ugly, bad person, I fell in love with him. I don't believe in love, but I feel something for Jamie. He pesters my mind because I know that I shouldn't take his hatred and I should just tell him to fuck off, but I want him around. I will always apologize for what I have done. My mom tells me that he will always be mad at me. I hope not. And though he has said some of the meanest things in the world to me...some part of me wants to believe that the end of all the hatred and mean words will come with an "I love you too." I hate watching romantic movies, or really any movie in general, because there is always two people conflicted towards one another and then they end up happy in love. I want to end up happy in love. I know now that you cannot force someone to be in love with you, but some part of me truly wants to believe that Jamie...has some admiration towards me. That even though I made him look completely stupid, we're closer than he's ever been with anyone. Anyway...he does pester my mind. This morning I got a "Good Morning" text message from him. I thought it was, hopefully, a sign that maybe things would change. I was wrong. Things won't change now, but hopefully sometime soon.
Someone who broke my heart the hardest,
I am constantly heartbroken. Nothing ever seems to go as planned for me. I am at a constant battle with myself. So, I blame myself for who has broke my heart the hardest. I do something stupid, I fuck up big time, I apologize endlessly..and in the end I still lose.
0 comments:
Post a Comment