She's a Fleeting Fox

I've always pictured myself single. Alone. I think so, at least. Whenever I picture me and my family, the family I could one day have, I see me with a son or daughter...just alone. Single mom. I don't necessarily see it as a dream life...but more as a life that is mine and is good. I see me raising my little Asian baby, teaching him or her their culture, adapting it as my own culture. I see myself with three cats. Or maybe a dog and two cats. Two dogs, one cat. I see myself in an apartment, quaint yet homey. I make things my own, anyway. I see a man here and there, maybe, but I never let him move in. That's mine. Me, my Asian baby, a dog, two cats....that's all I really think I need. 

Part of me wants to believe that I truly, truly want that. But I think somewhere deep in my heart I want a man. I want someone to take care of me, love me, have kids with, move far away and start a new journey. 

Then part of me wishes I never think those thoughts at all and just let the world happen as it should. If it's in the cards, I'll be alone. If I'm meant to be with someone, I will be.

I'll just get a dog.