We fall to others, we break our promises

I really wish I knew why it's so hard to write again. I think it's because of my laziness lately though. So much happens that I don't want to write about it because I'm lazy. But, I do have my Macbook now. So everything changes. But here's what has happened:

Vincent and I are no longer together. But it was a weird break up, we never really said "it's over," like we did last time. I just knew it was over because he stopped telling me he loved me and saying I was beautiful and such. He's been going through a lot lately. He seems depressed, and he can't sleep. And I don't know what's wrong. Or who he's become. But it saddens me. Oh, and he also said that he liked another girl, another friend of his. That hurt my heart greatly. But, at the moment, it's him that worries me, not her. He acts so strange. And I don't know what to say to him. And when I text him, something keeps telling me that nothing has changed. But I can't act that way.

I want him to want me, so I know I shouldn't text him first.
But I do anyway.


I tell him I miss him, and he says nothing.
Then I get heartbroken.

He says I'm "cute" but I want to
hear that I'm beautiful.

I cry a lot, and if there was a person living inside of me, they would be crying a lot too. I can just imagine a miniature version of me just screaming her heart out, crying and praying to God that he comes back--like he did before. I truly believe I need him. I need him so much that...I'd give up a lot for him. I shouldn't, but I would.