What has been happening in my love-life lately? Things have been, honestly, wonderful. I met this wonderful guy named Vincent. He lives in California and, unfortunately, I do not. We met online--which only makes sense. We started 'dating' the second day that we knew eachother. There was this weird connection with us. I felt like I could trust him and he seemed to really like me. As the days turned into weeks, I started to feel love for Vincent. Me, being cynical, didn't want to believe that I was in love, but eventually I kicked the cynicism out of my life and finally decided to say that I was in love.
Vincent makes me feel...everything I've never felt. I've always felt like the ugly one or the one who isn't the skinniest (well, I'm definitely NOT the skinniest) or the one who couldn't get a boyfriend--but he changed all of that. He makes me incredibly happy. I couldn't thank him enough for the all the happiness he's brought into my life.
It's only been over a month, but I don't...I can't just not feel this way. Tonight I could tell that he was being distant and not acting the way he usually does so I called him. He was upset, crying, which caused me to cry. He was re-evaluating our relationship and wanted to know that I was really happy with him and that the distance between us wasn't going to be such a problem. Of course, the distance sucks, but we love eachother and that's what I had to remind him. He's been fucked over by a lot of girls in the past; and I've been fucked over HARD by a few guys. We never seem to win. He's struggled with self-issues and so have I, tremendously. But I know that we're right for eachother. He brings out the best in me and I him. I'm no longer so cynical because of him. Sure, I have my doubts about things--not relationship things, but some things and that's the way I'll always be. But I love being with Vincent. He said that he's so happy when he talks to me and thinks of me, but when he isn't or can't he feels sad. I cannot relate because I'm 97% of the time thinking about him and even when I'm not and I'm focusing on school or whatever, I know he's still in my head. His voice, his face, his laugh--it's all in my head.
You could say that I've gone crazy for him, and he might agree that I'm crazy. But I rather be crazy for him and crazy about him than anyone else. I hope he knows that.
Vincent, I cannot speak for anyone else who is in love, but I know that all relationships have their ups and downs. We're tough people; we can make our relationship work. I know you don't want to give up with me and I sure as hell don't want to lose you. If I could promise you one thing it'd be that I won't fuck you over. I won't do you wrong. I know you've probably heard that too many times, but I've been fucked over pretty hard and I know that I wouldn't do that to someone I TRULY loved. And that's how I feel. I truly love you. So, for anyone who actually still reads my blogger and knows how cynical and depressive I am...I've changed.
I'm happy and in love. Get used to it.
Vincent makes me feel...everything I've never felt. I've always felt like the ugly one or the one who isn't the skinniest (well, I'm definitely NOT the skinniest) or the one who couldn't get a boyfriend--but he changed all of that. He makes me incredibly happy. I couldn't thank him enough for the all the happiness he's brought into my life.
It's only been over a month, but I don't...I can't just not feel this way. Tonight I could tell that he was being distant and not acting the way he usually does so I called him. He was upset, crying, which caused me to cry. He was re-evaluating our relationship and wanted to know that I was really happy with him and that the distance between us wasn't going to be such a problem. Of course, the distance sucks, but we love eachother and that's what I had to remind him. He's been fucked over by a lot of girls in the past; and I've been fucked over HARD by a few guys. We never seem to win. He's struggled with self-issues and so have I, tremendously. But I know that we're right for eachother. He brings out the best in me and I him. I'm no longer so cynical because of him. Sure, I have my doubts about things--not relationship things, but some things and that's the way I'll always be. But I love being with Vincent. He said that he's so happy when he talks to me and thinks of me, but when he isn't or can't he feels sad. I cannot relate because I'm 97% of the time thinking about him and even when I'm not and I'm focusing on school or whatever, I know he's still in my head. His voice, his face, his laugh--it's all in my head.
You could say that I've gone crazy for him, and he might agree that I'm crazy. But I rather be crazy for him and crazy about him than anyone else. I hope he knows that.
Vincent, I cannot speak for anyone else who is in love, but I know that all relationships have their ups and downs. We're tough people; we can make our relationship work. I know you don't want to give up with me and I sure as hell don't want to lose you. If I could promise you one thing it'd be that I won't fuck you over. I won't do you wrong. I know you've probably heard that too many times, but I've been fucked over pretty hard and I know that I wouldn't do that to someone I TRULY loved. And that's how I feel. I truly love you. So, for anyone who actually still reads my blogger and knows how cynical and depressive I am...I've changed.
I'm happy and in love. Get used to it.
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