I don't know exactly what to say sometimes. Sometimes, words don't even matter. All I can say is that I love you and I promise to love you until the day I die. It's sad and scary to think that one day you might not be part of my life, but if that does happen, I promise, promise you that you will always be my heart. You have given me some much love and hope that I've always needed. Your sweet words and soft voice fill every void I've ever had. Thinking about hold you close takes up half my day. I envy every one who gets to walk past you and doesn't see what I see in you. Every girl who has ever let you down or hurt you is a fool, an idiot. And sure, every girl makes mistakes. Every human makes mistakes. But passing you up for something they think is better--well, there is no better. At least in my eyes there isn't. Your heart is so big and so beautiful. Every time I think of you, I think of the progression of us. It's been over four months now and things have changed amazingly. We started off young and new. Our first time talking is something I like to reminisce about.
I was shy, nervous and scared to see how things would progress. I remember laying in bed in the complete darkness, just barely talking to you. Neither of us knew what to say and then things happened. I giggled a lot, I remember. You kept asking what I was giggling about, but I honestly couldn't tell you. It was a placeholder for words I couldn't come up with. I wanted to hear you talk. You had such a cute voice. To be quite honest, you sounded young. But I didn't mind because I thought you sounded very sweet at the same time. You were different than most guys--pretty much all guys. I think it was in that almost silence when I knew there was something in store for us. But at the same time, I felt kind of trapped. I'm a very talkative person. What if I wasn't able to talk to you sincerely? I couldn't build a relationship off of giggles! That night you asked me to be your girlfriend. The last time I heard those words, that phrase, I couldn't even tell you. When I close my eyes and think about this, I see my wide smile when I heard those words. I was very, very happy, yet heartbroken at the same time. I felt like a divorcee finding new love, but apprehensive about it. As you know, I was coming out of a "break-up" of sorts and wasn't entirely sure if jumping into something new was exactly for me. But you were sweet and I figured it would be best to start off on the right foot rather than spend over a years time complaining and crying over some stupid guy.
If I could have gone back in time to tell Rachel from July what Rachel from November knows now, I would. I definitely would. I would tell her that the Vincent guy she started talking to, well, he's an amazing person. He makes her laugh, smile, he makes her heart flutter and gives her goosebumps. I would tell her that only good came from the break up with him. I would also tell her that she couldn't picture her life without him. That he isn't some average, every day type of love. His love means the entire world to her and without it, she's empty.
The growth of relationship is a beautiful thing. Vincent and I have grown so much over the past four months. And when you think about long relationships, of course you think about two, year, four year relationships. Those are long. Yes, in retrospect, Vincent and I's relationship has only begun, but the love I feel for him causes me to believe that I've known him my entire life. I don't know what the future has in store for us, but I would like to think that it involves lots of kisses and hand holding. Some day, if we're lucky and strong, we'll overcome all of the obstacles that will be thrown at us and we'll make a life together. No, not a baby, per say! Just...a foundation for larger advancement. A home, a family, all together.
I love Vincent. It's the best feeling in the world having him a part of my life. It's true, God has a plan for everyone. I just hope that God sees Vincent in mine. I sure, sure hope so!
I was shy, nervous and scared to see how things would progress. I remember laying in bed in the complete darkness, just barely talking to you. Neither of us knew what to say and then things happened. I giggled a lot, I remember. You kept asking what I was giggling about, but I honestly couldn't tell you. It was a placeholder for words I couldn't come up with. I wanted to hear you talk. You had such a cute voice. To be quite honest, you sounded young. But I didn't mind because I thought you sounded very sweet at the same time. You were different than most guys--pretty much all guys. I think it was in that almost silence when I knew there was something in store for us. But at the same time, I felt kind of trapped. I'm a very talkative person. What if I wasn't able to talk to you sincerely? I couldn't build a relationship off of giggles! That night you asked me to be your girlfriend. The last time I heard those words, that phrase, I couldn't even tell you. When I close my eyes and think about this, I see my wide smile when I heard those words. I was very, very happy, yet heartbroken at the same time. I felt like a divorcee finding new love, but apprehensive about it. As you know, I was coming out of a "break-up" of sorts and wasn't entirely sure if jumping into something new was exactly for me. But you were sweet and I figured it would be best to start off on the right foot rather than spend over a years time complaining and crying over some stupid guy.
If I could have gone back in time to tell Rachel from July what Rachel from November knows now, I would. I definitely would. I would tell her that the Vincent guy she started talking to, well, he's an amazing person. He makes her laugh, smile, he makes her heart flutter and gives her goosebumps. I would tell her that only good came from the break up with him. I would also tell her that she couldn't picture her life without him. That he isn't some average, every day type of love. His love means the entire world to her and without it, she's empty.
The growth of relationship is a beautiful thing. Vincent and I have grown so much over the past four months. And when you think about long relationships, of course you think about two, year, four year relationships. Those are long. Yes, in retrospect, Vincent and I's relationship has only begun, but the love I feel for him causes me to believe that I've known him my entire life. I don't know what the future has in store for us, but I would like to think that it involves lots of kisses and hand holding. Some day, if we're lucky and strong, we'll overcome all of the obstacles that will be thrown at us and we'll make a life together. No, not a baby, per say! Just...a foundation for larger advancement. A home, a family, all together.
I love Vincent. It's the best feeling in the world having him a part of my life. It's true, God has a plan for everyone. I just hope that God sees Vincent in mine. I sure, sure hope so!
0 comments:
Post a Comment